Blanket Guarantee

I guarantee that the University of Florida will win it's third national championship on Thursday. Oklahoma only has a chance in the way that its possible to be struck by lightening or to spontaneously combust. In fact, something similar would have to happen in order for Oklahoma to win. The Gators are just that much better. I don't need any objective rationale for this. In the world of Not-Turner-Gill, everything is black and white, things just are or aren't. With that in mind, here are the keys to the game for both teams:

For Oklahoma to win, these three things must happen: 1) Tebow must spontaneously combust. Don't misunderstand me, this is a MUST. 2) Spikes and Harvin declare for the NFL midway through the first quarter, and they proceed to pour champagne on everyone. You need both elements. 3) Finally, Mullen will have to call potential recruits of Mississippi State University during the game, tell them the plays before he calls them, and then proceed to pour champagne on everyone in the booth.

For Florida to win: Prevent any of these things from happening.

If this scenario plays out, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I will gladly let you shower me with insults. I love champagne. But the odds are slightly in my favor. I will be back to gloat on Friday.

On the scale, this is an Andy Rooney.