Only Idiots Make Guarantees

And, I’m not an idiot, so obviously my “guarantee” that New Orleans would lose to the Lions was just a clever attempt to put the reverse jinx on the Saints to make sure they would win. I can’t believe I even had to explain that, I thought it was pretty clear from the start. I only wish I had thought to do this several weeks ago, maybe the Saints would have actually made the playoffs. I guess I underestimated the power of the Scale of One to Gus Johnson. That’s a mistake I won’t make again.

Anyway, while we’re on the subject of the Lions, and their descent into the depths of NFL history, there’s something that I need to bring up. I’ve seen and heard people use the word “overfeated” to describe the Lions. As in, instead of winning all their games and going undefeated, they’re going to lose all their games and go overfeated. Overfeated…as if it’s the opposite of “under-feated”. The only problem here is that underfeated isn’t actually a word.

Let’s over-analyze this for a second. A “feat” is some kind of achievement, like say…winning a football game. So to be “defeated” is to be denied that achievement, or lose the football game. To be “undefeated”, you would have to never have been denied the achievement. Following that line, to use the word over-feated seems to suggest someone achieved too much. For example, a lot of people thought the Patriots were overfeated last year, so they rooted for the Giants to win the Superbowl.

Why can’t we just say the Lions are plain defeated? Or un-feated? Or if you want to use the word over, just say the Lions are over-defeated. Or maybe the Lions can somehow win their last game so we won’t have to use any of these ridiculous terms. You know, I blame Linda Cohn for this whole thing.

On a scale of one to Gus Johnson, I rate this a John Madden.